You heard it here first. The first unofficial official Apple iWatch giveaway.

Okay so fine, the Apple iWatch hasn't yet been announced... But seriously though any pink haired patent troll can figure out that Apple is most definitely working on something of the sort in a styrofoam cone-spiked room where reverb ceases too exist.

No but seriously. We are promising 10 Apple iWatches for our members the day they get announced (if they get announced). We have our tents, sleeping bags and Zenify beverages to keep us hydrated and stress-free (waiting in Apple lines are life threatening). Only ten winners will be announced out of a total 1000 possible entries prior to October 23 in conjunction with Apple's (unofficial) official announcement of its newest revolutionary product. (We read that on the Internet so it must be true.)

According to various inside sources, Apple has been secretly developing their newest device under strict confidentiality. Reportedly, an elite team of one hundred engineers, product developers, patent attorneys and astronauts have been working in a clandestine facility in a top secret part of Apple headquarters in Cupertino, the newly built North Carolina facility or in a distant galaxy known as AT4539.

Here's some deets on the not so Swatch watch... Built on Apple's iOS platform, the iWatch features state-of-the-art technology, including wireless charging, SIRI, blood test needle, bluetooth compatibility and a high definition video camera. This wearable computing device, as deemed in Apple's recent patent filings, breaks ground of next-generation human-computer interaction and fashion norms as a whole.

In response to cynicism about Apple's ability to succeed in the wristwatch industry, Apple CEO, Tim Cook stated. "The only thing we will never do is make a crappy product. That's the only religion that we have. We must do something bold, something ambitious, something great for the customers, and we sweat all of the details." Btw that's a real quote... Google it.

"We are beside ourselves with excitement to wait in what will be the longest line of the twenty first century," states Spreeify CEO, Ruben Dua. "That's how much we love our members."